Friday, May 9, 2008

What I Really Want for Mother's Day

We are just days away from the big holiday for moms. The men I pass in the store are starting to get that panicked, deer-in-the-headlights, what-in-the-world-am-I-going-to-get-her look about them. And some of the women, too, because we all know it's the wife that gets the mother-in-law Mother's Day gift. With enough choices to drive anyone mad, and retailers who are more than happy to throw all of them at consumers, what do you get the mothers in your life?

There are definitely gifts you need to avoid at all costs: kitchen appliances, vacuum cleaners, power tools, etc. There are some classics, too. Many mothers appreciate flowers—assuming you haven’t given them flowers for the last five years. You can rarely go wrong with tasteful jewelry (please, nothing that literally shouts “I was the last thing left in the jewelry case late Saturday night) and chocolate is always welcome. Although, swimming suit season is almost upon us, so scratch chocolate. That’s better for Valentine’s Day when we still have a few months to work it off.

I too have joined the masses traveling up and down the store aisles, praying for gift inspiration to descend from above. It’s caused me to take a look at what I, as a mother, really want for Mother’s Day.

The answer? I want a nap. As the mother of three children under ten, a nap definitely tops my list. Actually, any period of time where I am not the official referee, homework enforcer, hygiene guru, short-order cook, impromptu entertainer, chauffeur, planner, lost-thing finder, bill payer, receptionist, and housekeeper would work.

I would also really, really like my pre-mother body back, but I think beyond plastic surgery, that is probably out. I could use the energy I had before each child took half of it at birth. That’s the only explanation I can come up with that explains why they have so much more than me at any given time, day or night. Again, I don’t think that’s a realistic wish.

Don’t despair, because I will also happily take homemade cards, macaroni jewelry, handprints, coupons, or simply an “I Love You, Mommy.” Honestly, moms just want a little recognition for their labor of love. And you can do that more than once a year. That’s all I really need. So, honey, return the vacuum cleaner, okay?

**Disclaimer: Jason would never buy me a vacuum cleaner, but it was a great way to end the blog.**

No comments: