Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The Great Theler Grape Stomp

Status: It's a Wednesday. And Wednesdays kick butt more than Mondays.
Song: "Oceano" by Josh Groban

Last week you may have noticed me mention grapes a few times in my little Status-thingey. I don't really have a grape obsession, even though I did have a dream involving grape juice all over my kitchen floor and a number of unexpected house guests who stood around arguing while I tried to clean it up but it wasn't working because the rag just kept dripping purple juice and I was in my pajamas which were getting purple splattered all over them and...

So, nope. Obviously nothing weird or psychoanalytic about grapes here.

I do want to share a little of the Great Theler Grape Stomp. It's not something that will be famous, like the I Love Lucy Grape Stomp episode, but it was memorable. And if you don't have a clue what I'm talking about, then I need to get a bumper sticker that reads "Officially Old & Crusty, So Get Out of My Way, You Whippersnappers!" or maybe "You're Driving Like a Bat Out of Hell!" Please tell me you've seen that commercial. *I tried to find it on Youtube but couldn't, so I'll give a brief rundown. The commercial is of three people in the car. Two men and one woman, who is driving. One of the old guys yells at her as the car creeeeaaakkks along, "You're driving like a bat out of hell!" Creeeaaaak. "You're going to get us killed!" Creeeeeaaaaak. It's hilarious, believe me. (And thanks, mom, for helping me remember it right :)

Anyway, back to the grapes. Someone from Jason's work let everyone know that she was being overwhelmed with grapes. Before Fall Break, Jason mentioned that since I would have some extra time, maybe I might want to go get some and make grape juice, since our kids guzzle juice like budding juice-a-holics.

So Jason was thinking, "Free juice."

I was thinking, "Extra time?! You do realize I will have all three children home from school--for like, 5 days, and half the neighborhood is gone to Disneyland and the rest of the neighborhood is doing something else besides staying here, which means the kids will be bored cause there's no one to play with, right?" Needless to say, I didn't head any grape expedition over Fall Break.

Last Monday night Jason gets home and announces that it's all arranged for us to go pick the grapes, he's borrowing a juicer, and it's so incredibly easy, and did he mention it's free juice? So we pile in the van with the ladder, some buckets, various grape-picking paraphernalia, and the camera--because if I have to do this I might as well get pictures so I can write a brilliantly entertaining blog, right?

Well, by the time we finally finish dinner and get everything and everyone in the car, it's starting to get dark. We make it to the house and no one's there. We didn't go all that way for nothing, so we make ourselves at home and just head to the backyard, hoping there aren't any guard dogs. Luckily, only a cat or two pointedly ignored us traipsing into their territory.

There was a wonderful trellis/arbor covered in grape vines. I'm totally jealous of that trellis/arbor thing. And the grape vines. It would be a heavenly place to sit in the summer. Anyway, there are tons of grapes still. But all the ones easy to reach are gone. Probably picked by the 5 people left in the county who didn't make it to Disneyland over Fall Break. So we have to climb up ladders and contort our bodies to reach the delicious bundles of purple goodness taunting us just out of reach.

I had to decide between taking pictures of my children at the top of the ladder stretching to reach grapes and then falling off--but my new camera has a nice Sports setting that would capture the action nicely--or climbing up the ladder myself and letting the kids take pictures. It was hard. On the one hand, I just went through some major heart ache to get this camera (see camera post here) and my children have been known to trip, fall, run into things, and drop things on an hourly basis. On the other hand, bathing my 8 year old with a cast because he broke his leg falling off the ladder would be a big pain. As would the trip to the Emergency Room, and the doctor's bills. I handed over the camera and picked grapes.

And so for my brilliantly entertaining blog we have some truly wonderful pictures.

Like this.

And this.

I think the composition of this one is true genius.

This one captures the essence of the top half of my ear nicely.

The study of lighting in this one is moving.

This is probably the best one, though. I mean, who wouldn't want to immortalize the foot of the ladder? And yes, I do retain the copyright to this pic. I might be willing to part with it for a reasonable price. Maybe I'll put it up for auction.

Note: We do have a few pictures with actual faces in them, and grapes, too. But it doesn't go too good with the theme, so I may post those another time.

We got a lot of grapes, got hit in the head by a lot of falling grapes, and even found grapes in our sweatshirt pockets a few days later. Mmm-mmm good! Then I made some juice, and the house smelled yummiliciously grape-y for a few days. So if we invite you over for a glass of fresh grape juice, make sure to be adequately impressed.

The End

"Hey!" you say. "Where's the stomping?" And you would be right to say such a thing. The stomping of grapes came in every time we took a step--up and down the ladders or on the ground. The grapes were so ripe they literally rained down. We should have spread a tarp and then we could have had an official stomping. As it was, I'm still cleaning out the grapes from the bottom of my tennis shoes.


Lori-ann said...

I was LAUGHING at the pictures! SO classic!!! I love, love, love your writing style, dear sis. :) Great post!

Deborah said...

Loved your post. I laughed so hard I cried