Status: So thrilled there's no snow for Halloween this year!
Song: "Dead Man's Party" by Oingo Boingo
**Note: As you can see from the date, I started this post yesterday morning, fully intending to finish it. Then my day imploded. Soooo, I'm actually posting Saturday afternoon - in November. Just pretend it was up yesterday.
In the last week or two you've all been hearing all those safety tips for Trick-or-treating. You know, stuff like wear light clothing (I dare you to find a vampire wearing pastels, come on!), make your kids take flashlights, only go to houses you know, etc. etc. etc. And those are all good safety tips. I'm not knocking them. But you can find stuff like that anywhere (like here, and here, and even this official one dressed up in a cutesy layout from the Food and Drug Administration here ) .
Because, above all, this blog is for community service (okay, not really, it's really just a way for a writing junkie to get out some of the twitches) I'm going to give you Trick or Treat tips you probably won't find anywhere else. You might want to print them out. Or get them made up in those vinyl letters that so many people have on their walls these days (speaking of, I'd like to get a little saying or two if any of you know a vinyl letter person). I won't mind. You could even tattoo them on your body, but you might have to use your back or an entire leg to fit them all in , and that would just look tacky. So let's not go the tattoo route, okay? Unless you want to tattoo something easy like "The Theler Blog Rocks!"
So here are some Trick-or-Treating tips from Jaime's cauldron of life experience. *From now on we'll just say TOT because Trick-or-Treating is so freakin' long to type*
1. It doesn't matter what costume you use for a baby, they are so cute you can just wrap them up in an orange blanket. Bring a big bag because the cuteness factor always works and you can get lots of candy. *This is probably the only legitimate way for adults to actually go TOT, because we all know the baby isn't going to eat it, so really mom and dad get the bag of goodies, but everyone overlooks that fact because they're blinded by cuteness.
2. The older you get, the more creative you have to be with your costumes in order to score the candy. For example, my Senior year of high school a friend and I safety-pinned a large blanket around ourselves, and my sister and a couple of her friends wrapped up in throw blankets and we went as a bedding set (I was half of the comforter, the others were pillowcases). Once we explained our costumes we got candy on pure creativity.
3. If you're taking small children with you, a stroller is a must.
4. Find the neighborhoods with the highest density of houses. You might as well get more stops per mile.
5. If there's a large black sheet with a jack-o-lantern on it, be ready for it to be some guy with it on his head ready to jump out at you. (Adults have way too much fun with this holiday.) Also be ready with a change of clothes for your kids.
6. Do not wear a French maid costume. Yes, there is a story.
7. If you have a Microbiology class presentation on Halloween, you can dress up as cholera. It makes for great discussions, and lots of priceless looks as you walk around campus.
8. TOT in college dorms is a ton of fun, even if you don't actually live in the dorms. Make sure to go with a group of your friends, though.
9. Don't let those parents who spend the whole month of October sewing costumes for their kids intimidate you. Tell everyone you are trying to foster your childrens' imagination when you tell them to figure something out with the stuff already in the house.
10. Take advantage of the day to dress up, because others would wonder if something's wrong if you were to walk around dressed up as Spongebob, say, in the middle of February.
I'll post pics tomorrow.