Sunday, January 25, 2009

A contract - why didn't I think of that?

Status: More snow. Darnit!
Song: "Cristofori's Dream" by David Lanz

I've had contracts on the brain a bit (what with my desperate hope I'll get one with an agent) and maybe there's some sort of mother-child telepathic connection, because Saturday Ian plopped this down in front of me and asked me to sign it.

He had made his own contract.

I scanned it in on the suicide-inducing printer that still resides on my computer desk (you can read the whole story here- and after this morning when it would only print in green, its days are numbered. Hey Monsier Epson! Ever heard of a laser printer? Yeah, that's right. Tremble in your ink cartridges. You are about to be replaced, buddy. Tout de suite!!!) so you can at least get the gist of it. I will now type in the contents, for those of you who have a hard time reading badly-scanned 8 year-old.

This document clearly states that Ian Theler will not be punished for his bad actions,
but will be free to do his will.
This document can't be broken or you will do 100 push ups and 100 sit ups.
This is approved by the FBI.

I Barack Obama approve this document.

Agreement by Ian Theler

I, as a parent I will or can't break this document and will approve of this document.
I as dad of Ian Theler will sign this document.

Signed ___________ (signed by Jason)

Saturday was a hard day for Ian because his evil parents made him do Saturday chores, dragged him to his basketball game, *and* made him redo a book report (a paragraph about how SOME of his classmates are violent, unlike Quasimodo, does not constitute an acceptable book report on The Hunchback of Notre Dame). So Ian must have felt he had to take drastic measures to right the injustice in our household. And the fact that Barack O'Bama approved it? Well, we had no choice but to sign the contract, obviously!

Ian cackled gleefully when Jason signed it, but was less than thrilled when we informed him that we don't "punish" him. We just let him feel the negative consequences of his actions.

Foiled again!

Wow, if only it were that easy. I've got a whole bunch of contracts I could draw up. I wonder if I could get mine approved by the FBI...


Deborah said...

That has got to top my 100 most favorite things kids have done list. Ian, you're a gem.

swinesse (not a comment on anything)Just the word to get in.

Tavia said...

This is hilarious! I love the creativity and imaginations of children. Isn't that why you keep that all alive? LOL

Jenn said...

That is entertainment!