Monday, April 27, 2009

Forget books, I'm going into music videos

Last weekend was the LDStorymaker's Writer's Conference and it was an incredible event! I was privileged to be on the conference committee that put it together. One of the fun (and perhaps foolish) things I agreed to do was help with a music video that was a spoof of the Nickelback song "Rockstar." This one is called "I Wanna Be a Bestseller" and it's for all the writers in the world. It stars authors and friends, who all would love to be a bestseller.

(I can't believe I'm sharing this...) Hit it!



And here are the lyrics (thanks to authors Heather Moore and Crystal Liechty):

I'm through with submitting to agents who won't read my queries
It's the end of the world if I never get published
This novel hasn't turned out quite the way I want it to be
(Tell me what you want)

I want a two-book deal, for a hundred million bucks
And a bathroom I can use my laptop in
And a king-sized office big enought for my ego 'n me
(Tell me what you need)

I need a five-star listing from Kirkus Review
And a medal from the Newbury committee too
Gotta hit the New York Times list the first week my book is out
(Been there, done that)

I want a cabin full of Whitney Awards
And a top ten rating on Amazon
Somewhere between J.K. and Stephenie is fine for me
(So how you gonna do it?)

I'm gonna trade this book for fortune and fame
I'd even change the end and get a pen name

[Chorus]
'Cause we all just wanna be Big Best Sellers
And live in huge houses getting great big checks
the muse comes asy and the words come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we're too stressed to eat
And we'll hang out at the Book Expo
In the VIP with Stephenie Meyer
Every vampire writer's gonna wind up there
Every wanna-be author with their chapters to share

Hey, hey, I wanna be a Bestseller
Hey, hey, I wanna be a Bestseller

I wanna be great like Dan Brown without the angels
Hire three assistants to answer my emails
Take a two week tour and expense my signings for free
(See ya in Barnes and Noble, ha ha)

I'll bring bathrobes 'n slippers back into fashoin
Call my editor from my agent's mansion
Gonna date an actor who wants to star in my movie deals
(So how you gonna do it?)

[Chorus]
'Cause we all just wanna be Big Best Sellers
And live in huge houses getting great big checks
the muse comes asy and the words come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we're too stressed to eat
And we'll hang out at the Book Expo
In the VIP with Stephenie Meyer
Every vampire writer's gonna wind up there
Every wanna-be author with their chapters to share
I'll be too busy to check my reviews
Won't matter to me 'cause Paramount's on line two
I'll remember what it used to be like back when
My books got rejected by even my friends

Hey, hey, I wanna be a Bestseller
Hey, hey, I wanna be a Bestseller

Gonna sue anyone who has a similar story
Gonna act real surprised at all my glory
I'll get famous authors to endorse my book
Tell Oprah how I come up with my hook

'Cause we all just wanna be Big Best Sellers
And live in huge houses getting great big checks
the muse comes asy and the words come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we're too stressed to eat
And we'll hang out at the Book Expo
Gonna follow Stephenie Meyer around the show
Every vampire writer's gonna wind up there
Every wanna-be author with their chapters to share

Gonna sue anyone who has a similar story
Gonna act real surprised at all my glory
I'll get famous authors to endorse my book
Tell Oprah how I come up with my hook

Hey, hey, I wanna be a Bestseller
Hey, hey, I wanna be a Bestseller

2 comments:

Deborah said...

Brave girl.

dediaes - above and beyond

Jenn Johansson said...

Awesome! I love it. Thanks for all the great tips at boot camp! It was such a great table. :D